When Westlife spilt, i know what they're gonna do!
a prediction by Hel
AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: Only for those with a sense of humour!!
Yes, as the title suggests, i am (other than beautiful, charming, funny, a great mate etc etc ha ha) psychic! The forthcoming (but not just yet) westlife split will be annouced in a bog standard press release along the lines of:
"...Over the 11years we have been going, we have been lucky enough to have 23 number ones under our belts, 12.5 million fans worldwide, 6 number one albums and yes, even the occasional chance to sing LIVE! Unfortunately we have decided as a band that now is the time to split. We have been lucky enough to write tracks for 5 of our #1 albums, but we are now sufferring a long bout of 'song writers block' and the team of writers we have worked with in the past feel unable to write any song good enough to beat our current batch of tunes.
Through a joint decision from all of Westlife, our management, our writing team and even our stylists (who now have no new ideas for our hair - especially Shane, who is 1/2 bald - yes it is a wig, how did you guess?!) we are now calling a day on Westlife as a band. We will all be persuing 'individual solo projects', both in and out of the music business. to all of our adoring fans - even the pensioners, thank you!"
And as my bout of psychic knowledge continues, i can reveal all is not lost in the music business!
Shane and Bryan team up to become partners in song writing after the success of their tracks ranging back to the early days of 'World of Our Own'. The business, known simply as the 'McFilan Hit Factory LTD' is world renowned for hits such as their first chart topper 'Neigh Baby' (get it???) a poppy, tongue in cheek song which spent an amazing 7 weeks at number one. Other hits include 'At The End of The Rainbow' (think pots of gold and Leprechans and you should get it) and 'Trott On' (walk on - U2.....!)
Kian also returns to the top of the charts with his verson of 'Wild Thing'. it spent 2 1/2 months at the top spot and only dropped down the charts as the total supplies of the single began to diminish. He then formed his own rock band Me3 (U2, Me3....geddit? oh, if you haven't by now there's no hope!) with a drummer, bass guitarist and lead guitarist. Kian took the role of lead vocals and for a further 6 years they churned out Bryan Adams style rock choons but were forced to stop after the lead guitarist began sufferring from repetitive strain injury in his hand! (Rick Parfit - Status Quo...oh don't any of you listen to the news??!!)
Mark was found to take up residence in Hazelwood after orgionally feared 'missing, presumed dead.' He was actually just taking long thoughtfilled walks in the nearby woodland whilst writing a his memoirs and a diary style ' 'Life on the Road' detailing what it was like as a popstar (everyone does some kind of autobiography to squeeze every penny from their aquired fame -the Beckhams, Ronan....!) He returned to the music businuess to sing some of the 'McFilan Hit Factory LTD' tunes, taking each one to a well deserved number one spot. To this day his voice is still so strong he doesnt need a mic to perform in Wembley!
Nicky is they only 'Lifer not to return to the charts (only to style those who hog the charts instead)! After marrying Georgina (it was always gonna happen Nicky fans!) He took over from the fashion guru Versace, turning Dublin into the fashion capital of Europe (yeah right!) He is mostly remembered for hiring Ronan 'used to be a croaky voiced popstar' Keating as his numero uno model who was regularly seen at the clothes show modelling yet ANOTHER pair of snake skin style leather trousers! Mr Byrne-Versarce's biggest venture to date was to re-design the uniforms of police officers in 7 different countries. Those familier yellow snake skin style leather trousers became all too familiar in New York, London, Dublin, Paris, Sydney, Rome and a rather phew, hot and sweaty Cairo! Stars such as Wacko Jacko (yes, he's still around!), Daniel Beddingfield, Bono (U2) and ex-Primeminister and pop failure (you never know who can sing!) Tony Blur...sorry Bleagh were also styled by the singing, stylish (i'm keeping my mouth firmly shut!) Byrne.
So, there you go, folks, thats what happned after Westlife ran out of hits! Hope it kept you entertained!
Luv Hel