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| Sarah and Nicky have been married for a year and Nicky feels he knows everything about her. Sarah loves Nicky and has waited too long to tell him about the lie she told when they first met. It all comes out in the end...in the worst possible way. |
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"I lied!" I whispered. "Oh Sarah you didn't…" my best friend Jess groaned. I
winced, I hated it when she disapproved of something I had done, "I know, it
was silly and Nicky's gonna kill me but…oh I don't know, I just didn't
think." I mumbled and threw myself on to my best friend's bed. She sat down
next to me and hugged her knees to her chest, "Who was it..?" she asked
slowly. I gulped loudly and bit my lip. "Sarah tell me, if you can't even
tell me you'll never be able to tell your husband!" I hated it when she was
right, "Oh god, I can't believe this…" I took a deep breath and shut my eyes
tightly hoping that when I opened them this would all go away. I was hoping
that Jess would just disappear and that she had never worked out my secret.
"Sarah tell me!" she demanded, losing her patience rapidly. A tear slid down
my cheek, I carefully wiped it away, images of my mascara dripping down my
face in huge black clumps filled my head and I cringed at the thought.
"Kian." I whispered. Jess gasped loudly as I broke down in to floods of
tears, "Oh shit Sarah, Nicky's gonna fuckin' kill you and bloody break all
the bones in Kian's body!" She shrieked. I nodded grimly, "I know, I know!"
I cried. Jess hugged me for a couple of minutes before I broke away,
"Please…let me tell him in my own time." I begged. She searched my eyes,
looking deeply in to my heart like she always did when she wanted to know
what I was thinking, "Okay. But if you don't tell him soon…" her voice
trailed off, I bit my lip. She sighed, "Sarah, he's my friend…" she mumbled
sadly but shrugged it off, "Fine. In your own time, but please not too long,
Shane will want to know why we have been in the bedroom for an hour!" she
laughed uneasily, I tried my hardest to giggle but all that came out was a
strangled cry as I fell back in to her lap and cried my heart out for the
third time in the last ten minutes.
"Where did you disappear to last night?" Nicky sang as I trudged down the stairs at midday. I rubbed my eyes, "Jess and Shane's." I grumbled and slumped at the table in front of a huge bowl of Shreddies. "How's Lolly and Georgia?" I asked changing the subject. He shrugged, "Didn't know you had left, Lolly slept the entire night and when Georgia woke up for her eleven o'clock feed I fed her myself!" he announced proudly. I laughed, "When did your breasts become an all night bar?" I joked as he kissed my forehead. He scrunched his nose up at the thought, "What time did we crawl in last night?" He asked in a mock-strict tone that was quite arousing. I shrugged again, "Dunno 'bout two?!" I muttered and dug my spoon in to the soggy cereal. "Ergh!" I moaned and swallowed it reluctantly. "Serves you right for eating my cereal!" He grinned and pulled the bowl towards him whilst making "Umm." Sounds. That evening Kian, Mark, Jess and Shane came round for supper. "So…How are you all?" Asked Mark as he swept through the doors and up to the toilets. Kian laughed, "He's been bursting the whole way here!" Mark came down a couple of minutes later with Georgia in his arms, "She likes me!" he cooed as Georgia smiled broadly at him. "Course she does you eejit, you brought her downstairs where all the action is when she's meant to be asleep!" Nicky cried and cradled Georgia in his arms until she was asleep again. He handed her to Kian, "Could you take her to her room?" he asked and kissed the baby's head. "How old is she now?" asked Shane, not really interested, just bored. I thought about it for a few seconds, "Six months!" I laughed at my inability to remember my own child's age. "And Lolly's almost five!" I chirped, proving that I did know some things! "Im so pleased you could all be here tonight." Nicky called as he re-entered the room carrying two bottles of champagne and six glasses. He handed them all out. "Nicky what's going on?" I whispered as he handed me my glass and poured some bubbly in to it. He smiled secretively. I rolled my eyes dramatically. As my eyes rolled back in to focus they lay upon Kian's muscular chest, displayed nicely in a tight white T-shirt. He caught me staring at him and smiled discretely. I turned away just as Jess glared at me from next to Kian. "C'mon then what's with all the booze?!" Mark grinned and smelt the champagne, he licked his lips, "Are you gonna tell us or are we just gonna have to look at this lovely alcohol?" He demanded. Nicky smiled, "I asked you all here tonight because…" he paused dramatically. "She isn't pregnant again, is she?!" cried Kian, sounding maybe a little too alarmed. Nicky looked shocked, "I hope not! We haven't done anything since Georgia was born!" He laughed. I shook my head and looked straight in to Nicky's eyes with a look to tell him that he wouldn't be getting any for at least another year! He didn't seem to notice. "No, no the reason you have all been called here tonight is so I can tell you that I got a promotion!" He shrieked in a voice so shrill he sounded like a different man. As the people around me exploded in to applause I couldn't let myself get happy. I don't know why but I felt empty inside and not just because I hadn't eaten for two days! Nicky bumped in to me, "Sorry love, isn't that fantastic!?" He asked and scooped me in to his arms for a bear hug. I scrambled away from him and placed my untouched champagne glass on the mantle piece. "Sarah, what's wrong?" he called after me but he didn't even attempt to follow me. "Why are you acting this way?" Kian demanded as he stomped into my bedroom ten minutes later. "What do you mean?" I sulked, turning my back to him. "I can tell you're pissed off with me! You haven't said a word to me all night!" He said, calming down slightly to perch on the bed next to me. "What have I done?" He asked, genuinely concerned. I smiled at him and shrugged, "You haven't done anything." I assured him and reached to touch his shoulder but pulled away sharply. "Ah huh!" he cried as if he had just solved a word equation. I raised my eyebrows inquisitively, "What?!" I laughed. He smiled, "You won't touch me, you are scared to touch me! You have never restrained yourself around me before, you always hug me and stuff!" He waited quietly for my reply. "It's the whole thing we had before I met Nicky." I whispered with an exasperated sigh. "Oh that thing!" He nodded and bit his lip, "He's knows though…unless you…" he shook his head as I gazed at the floor guiltily, "You never told him!" He cried, he seemed really hurt. "Kian I couldn't, he thinks he was my first! he honestly thought that he was the first guy to…erm…Er, give me pleasure." I looked in to his eyes, they were wet but he was refusing to show his emotion, "So you have denied our entire relationship!" He laughed sarcastically and wiped his eyes, "Please, Kian don't tell him, I want to!" I begged desperately. He let out a grunt, "Course you're gonna tell him!" he mumbled miserably and wiped his eyes again. "Didn't what we had mean a thing to you?! I treated you like a god damned princess, we wouldn't have even broken up if it wasn't for…" His voice trailed off, I bit my lip, "If it wasn't for Westlife's world tour!" he was no longer trying to hide his feelings, his eyes dripped with unwanted tears. I had never seen Kian cry before and seeing someone so strong break down like this scared me. Nicky walked in, "Kian, what the..!" he gasped, he had only ever seen him cry once. "Shit man!" he looked at me, "Is he okay?!" he demanded. Kian nodded, "Im fine, just a little too much to drink that's all, been drinkin' all day, can hardly stand. I had better go home." He excused himself and walked down the stairs. As he walked out the door he shook his head in my direction and tutted to himself but loud enough for both me and Nicky to hear. "What was that all about?" Nicky whispered and helped me to my feet, "Look he got you all worked up…is that why you walked out of the room before?" he asked me gently. I shook my head and sighed, "Let's just go downstairs and enjoy our dinner, we can talk about this later." I pushed him gently out of my way and walked carefully down the stairs. As I sat down at the dining room table Jess raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow in my direction and sent me a look telling me that we should meet in the kitchen to talk. "I'll just go and fetch the stew, its awfully hot, will someone please help me?!" Jess asked in my direction, "I'll help you darling." Chirped Shane and jumped to his feet. Jess shoved him back in to his chair, "S'okay, honey but Sarah will be of more help." I glared at her as Shane shrugged and dug in to his melon but pulled myself to my feet anyway. "What did you two do up there?!" she demanded as soon as we had shut the door. "What do you mean by that!?" I cried. She raised her eyebrows as if I should already know the answer. "You guys were up there for half an hour, Nicky comes up, Kian comes down crying and fly's out the front door without answering anyone's questions." She tutted putting her oven mitts on and opening the oven. "We just talked, honest." She looked doubtful as she prodded her pie. "He was really upset that I had denied our relationship." I murmured. "So he bloody well should be! I would! Sarah, you lost you're fuckin' virginity to the guy then you lie and say that nothing happened! That's gotta hurt!" she slammed the oven door and threw the pie on to the table angrily, "Keep your voice down, they'll here!" I cried and nervously chewed a strand of my hair. "That's gross!" Jess muttered and pulled my hair out of my mouth in one vicious swipe. "So you think I should tell him?!" I asked, dreading the inevitable answer. She nodded, "its all gonna come out in the end, its better coming from you!" I nodded and helped her carry the pie in to the dining room. "Hey I thought you were fetching the stew?!" Shane cried exasperatedly and stormed in to the kitchen. "Nicky I need to talk to you." I mouthed across the table. "What about?" he mouthed back. "Tell you when we talk!" I mouthed in reply. "You wanna talk now?" he whispered catching everybody's attention. I sighed, "Well now everyone knows, yes I would like to talk to you now!" I said sternly. He groaned dramatically and got up from the table. "Can we talk upstairs please?!" I asked, as it became apparent that he was happy to talk downstairs in full earshot of all our guests. He shook his head, "Lets go. After you my dear." He whispered sarcastically and guided me to the bedroom. "Okay, this better be good." He cried angrily as he slammed the door behind us. I nodded and pointed to the bed. "You wanna make love?" he asked very confused. "No!" I shrieked, "Sit down!" he obediently sat down on the end of our four poster bed, "Are you trying to be strict?" he grinned and started to unbutton his shirt whilst muttering something about this being neither the time nor the place… I sighed loudly, "No, im serious, I wanna talk to you." He looked at me trying to determine if this was some kinky game or not. Carefully he re-did his shirt up. "Go on then, what's on your mind?!" He asked sounding concerned. "It's about why Kian was crying…" I mumbled, "Oh that's great, what was wrong with the guy?" he asked pulling me towards him and sitting me down on the bed next to him. "I denied him of the truth." I said simply. Nicky looked confused, "Okay." He said slowly, "Elaborate." He smiled an innocent, boyish smile that made my heart flutter. "Two years before me and you even met, Kian and I went out together." I rushed and turned my head away from my husband. "Oh, okay, so why haven't you ever told me about it?" he asked quietly, "About what!?" I cried in alarm. "Your relationship…" he frowned, "What else?" he demanded, knowing that something else was bothering me. I took a deep breath, "I had sex with him." I whispered and instinctively moved away from Nicky. But he didn't move. He was silent but I was to scared to go up to him, "you think im gonna hit you." He whispered with no tone in his voice or no expression in his pale face. I shook my head but no words could escape. "You said that I was your first." He muttered more to himself than to me. "You lied to me." He sobbed. "How could you?" he whispered, finally looking up at me. I couldn't stop shaking, "You honestly think im gonna hit you!" he yelled, "Im not fucking gonna touch you! In fact I can never touch you ever again! I hate you." He cried as he jumped off the bed and ran to the cupboard. I watched in silence as he threw his bags out on to the floor and started to pack them. Whenever he accidentally picked up something that was mine or had a picture of me in it he shrieked and threw it back in to the cupboard. "Nicky can't we just talk?" I cried desperately as he started tearing up our wedding photos. "You wanna talk?" he smiled menacingly. "Okay." He smiled as he put the photo album on the bed. "We can talk if that's what you want." He yelled, getting closer and closer to me until I had backed myself in to the wall. "Nicky please…" I begged as he rolled his eyes, "Lets talk dear wife. Was he better than me?" he looked deep in to my eyes. I couldn't answer, the truth was it was my first time and it was amazing. "Sarah WAS HE BETTER THAN ME?!" He yelled so loudly that I burst in to tears, I was terrified, I had never seen him lose control like this. I shook my head, "I love you Nicky and that means more to me that a few nights of passion with Kian!" He winced, "Don't say that name!" he roared, "Oh and another thing, what do you mean by a few? Oh yeah and passion!" He grabbed my face with his strong hands, "Nicky stop!" Jess cried from the door. Nicky turned to face her, "Fuck off!" he cried, "You knew all about this didn't you? You little bitch!" he cried, Shane shook his head, "Don't you ever talk to her like that again!" he shouted and moved slowly towards us. Nicky loosened his grip. "Im not gonna hurt her!" he cried painfully, "Why does everybody assume that I am gonna hurt the one person I love more than anyone in the world?!" he demanded and looked at me helplessly, "More than anyone in the universe." He whispered and leaned towards me. He kissed me gently, then more intensely. He slowly pulled away, "I love you more than life itself and as long as you and Kian are over now then that's fine with me. I just wish you could have told me sooner in stead of lying." I nodded and sat down on the bed, "You scared me." I whispered hoarsely. He nodded apologetically, "Im sorry I was so angry but I think I can get over it." He kissed my cheek where he had accidentally cut me with his wedding ring. "Lucky I have copies of the wedding pictures!" Smiled Jess, as she looked around the room at the mass of torn up photos and clothing. "We will work it out." Whispered Nicky as he held me close to him. I could feel his heart beating quickly and feel his body shaking. I held on to him tightly and tried my hardest to believe him. |